How to Make the Most Out of Therapy

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I always make it a point with new my new clients to give them some ideas or strategies to make

the most of the experience of therapy. Clients who use these tips often get deeper in the

process in a shorter period.

Notice and make note of the moments between session where you feel triggered emotionally.

What is the essence of the feeling? What happened to trigger the response? These are often

clues that can help you and your therapist glimpse your psyche or shadow. Much of therapy

involves a deeper knowledge and understanding of oneself. Moments of noticeable emotional

reactivity can be clues to unconscious material worthy of exploration.

If you say you are sorry for crying in my office, I will not accept your apology. You are supposed

to cry in therapy. Crying is like laughter but for more intense feelings. It is as natural as

anything you do. It is part of what makes you human. I buy tissues by the case for this reason.

Crying is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of progress.

We all dream. Every night. Many people find it difficult to remember their dreams. Try this: as

you are waking up and leaving the dream world, keep your eyes shut. As. you lay there, tell

yourself the story of your dream 2-3 times until you are confident that you can jot it down in a

journal or on your phone. Assuming your therapist has some experience with interpreting,

dream material can be incredibly valuable in session.

It must. Otherwise, you don’t matter. Let it be a big deal. Why? Because you are a big deal.

To be our best, self-care is nonnegotiable. Therapy is one of the most important things we can

do for ourselves to live a more meaningful life.

Let your closest people in on the good news. Tell them about it. Celebrate movement and

success with them. Let them be happy for you or extra supportive when you need it. Being

vulnerable with those we trust leads to intimacy and connection. Most people could use more

of that.

Personal growth doesn’t just happen one hour a week. The session hour is only the formal

event in the process of transformation. Journaling will likely enhance your experience and help

maintain the synergy of insight, movement and growth.

I’ve had several clients over the years who have recorded the session hour to play back during

the week. This helps to cement the work and make it stick. This is especially helpful for those

who don’t think about therapy except when in session. Or, for those who have trouble

remembering the content of the session. It’s like leaving the session door open to the rest of

your life throughout the week.

Everyone wants to feel better and grow at a faster pace. Undoubtedly, this is a product of

convenience culture. Change and growth happen at different intervals for different people.

Have compassion for yourself. This is hard. Trust in yourself, your therapist, and the process.

Things will shift when it is time.